HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE ANYONE!

by Nate Truman
win friends and influence people

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29 NIV

 

From before Plato and Socrates, to Dale Carnegie and all the current experts on relationships, people have been trying to figure out how to “make” other people like them, and then be able to influence them. I think we all would agree that life is more enjoyable with good friends to share our lives with. And who wouldn’t enjoy having influence on others when they have a strong desire to have something go their way? Before you wear yourself out learning skills to manipulate others into liking you, I would suggest that you first memorize and then put into practice the above sentence.

I think any “life coach” or motivational speaker of any religion would agree that if you lived out this one idea in your professional and personal life you would have many close friends and have great influence when ever you wanted it.

The first statement is important. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,” that is very clear. If you gossip about others at work, and people know that about you, others may think of you as a good source of “dirt” but I doubt they would also want you to be a close and trusted friend. How do you feel about the person who makes the rude, condescending, off color, or racist remark, or is known for always putting a curse word into every sentence? For whatever reason people do this, it’s not to win friends. It’s to put others down, and try and build themselves up. To win friends and influence people you would do well to live by choosing your words carefully and work to “rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8

Secondly we are urged to speak “…only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” Not only should we aim to say helpful words, but we should choose words that build up the other person. And we can’t do that “according to their needs” unless we have listened to them, and understand their needs.

Lastly, it urges us to speak so “that it may benefit those who listen.” What is the benefit for the other person in what you are saying? If you have that thought in your head, you will come up with helpful, specific and kind words on a regular basis. Do you have a friend who does that for you? Someone who really listens to you and you can count on them to say encouraging words that are helpful and specific? Wouldn’t you like more of your co-workers and friends to speak that way when you are with them? I know I would!

Take the time right now to memorize or print out this one short statement, and start today to apply it each and every time you open your mouth to speak. You will find that the rewards for you will be “winning” more and better friends, and new increased influence when you have something to say!

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HOW TO NEVER STOP DREAMING NEW DREAMS!

by Nate Truman
God Mind door dreams

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.”

Dr. Dale E. Turner

 

 

Dreams are a visionary creation of your imagination. Your dreams are the first step to developing a strongly desired goal or purpose.  To live your life awake and aware, you must have a compelling dream to pull you towards your future.  Each of us has had periods of our lives where things were all on autopilot and we became like zombies just going through the paces of our day.   All of the clutter and distractions of daily survival keep us focused on the seemingly urgent but often unimportant tasks that drain much of our essence.  

 

If you find yourself being drawn to play video games to shut off your mind, or working on crossword puzzles just to get them done, or eating without thinking, but not getting any real pleasure out of doing these activities, it is a sign that you need to regain your dreams.   These kinds of activities are ways your subconscious mind tries to keep you busy, in a primal survival mode.  Your “God mind” is not engaged. 

 

Your “God mind” is that higher, immortal part of your consciousness where your dreams and purpose lives.

 

Take a moment right now to stop everything going on in your head and take a few deep breaths to clear your mind.  Now close your eyes and listen to the sound of your thoughts at rest.  Next, “look” around with your minds eye, and wander over to your dreams.

Dust off a few, and see if you can find one you can work on today. Maybe you will find a brand new one!   “See” yourself taking your dream with you, as you come back to reality.  

 

Now with your shiny dream in your pocket, take a look at the rest of your day or week.  You should be able to find lots of to-do items that you no longer need or want to do, to free up time to pursue your new dream.   This is your life, don’t just survive today, thrive today!  At any age, no matter your circumstances, you can tap into your God mind for those “untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.”

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THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT GOALS OF YOUR LIFE

by Nate Truman

856132_ships_wheelThere is no chance, no destiny, no fate,
that can circumvent or hinder or control
the firm resolve of a determined soul.”

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

WRITTEN GOALS WORK.
They will set you on a course that you choose. With written goals, you can alter your heading and they will help steer you in a whole new direction. If you currently have goals that you know you will accomplish, I know you all ready have a written list of goals. They probably include long term goals, short term goals, personal goals, fitness goals, spiritual goals, as well as financial and career goals.

But even if you have worked hard at defining what you want in all of these categories, and are checking them off one by one, you may find yourself frustrated. If you sense that the “life ladder” you are busy climbing is possibly leaning against the wrong wall, you need to look at the three most important goals of your life.

Most goal setting programs ask you to write out your hearts desires, in different areas of your life. What kind of house do you want? What are you driving? Who are your future friends? What is your job title? How much money do you have in the bank? I call these the “froth” goals. They may seem to be the end desires and results that are the goals of your life, but they are not.

The three most important goals are global goals, and all of the “froth” goals are the end results of where your global goals point you. Just to be clear, a froth goal would be really nice deck chairs, on a luxury yacht, compared to the global goals of your heading and destination and why you want to get there. Getting there is half the fun, but not when you arrive someplace you didn’t ever want to go to!

GOAL #1 LIVE A LIFE OF INTEGRITY. To end up in a place of true accomplishment and happiness, you must have a goal of personal and professional integrity. If your “froth” goal is one of great wealth, I can tell you that if you pursue that goal without the guiding goal of personal and professional integrity, it will not bring you happiness. Check over you goals and make sure that none of your goals would involve cheating or hurting others to get what you want.

GOAL #2 DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY. In my early goal setting sessions, I wrote down all sorts of goals that the world had told me were “impressive.” There was only one big problem, they were not MY goals.
Until you work out what God has called you to do in life, you will swim against that current as hard as you can, but you will never arrive where the universe needs you to be. You have an inner love, a preset internal goal that has always been with you. How many parents have “planned” what sort of children they will raise together, only to discover that they came into this world fully programmed with their personality and direction for life? Spend some quiet time looking over your written goals, but also look for the larger unwritten goal. What specific global goal do you want to be using your time on Earth working towards?

GOAL #3 CHOOSE YOUR LEGACY. The last goal that you must have clearly in your mind is the answer to this question: What will your legacy be? What will remain after you are dead and gone? The spark of immortality seems to be inside each of us, and the idea of death seems more like a concept, even though everything tells us we will die, we seem to disbelieve it. You think you are going to live forever, and so far so good, right?
Well, to truly have all your limited time put to its best use, you must stop and ponder this question of what you will leave behind. For some it will be healthy, well loved children, improved lives because you were involved, or an endowment for a specific charity that played a part in your life. I don’t mean for you to set some sort of goal to get your name chiseled in stone, I want you to think long and hard about what sort of ripple you desire to have made in the lives you touched along your path. 100 years from now, no one will care about your body fat percentage, or if you had the latest clothes. Pay it forward, and invest in something that will outlast you.

Once you have a firm set of the three most important goals in your life, you can enjoy the journey, and the nice deck chairs, knowing you are headed in your true direction.


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HOW TO HAVE THE ULTIMATE LOVE LIFE!

by Nate Truman

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PABLO PICASSO, 1881-1973:
“We don’t get older, we just get riper.  Do you still love life the way you used to, and love people the way you did? Tell me, do you still love the human race, especially your best friends?  Do you still love love?  And so do I!  Oh, we’re great ones for that, you and I.  Isn’t love the greatest refreshment in life?”

Love is defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.  With that definition in mind, stop for a moment and fully recall the people in your life you are in love with.  Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and recall the tender affection you have for your loved ones.  Enjoy, even wallow in the feeling, and let your mind wander through happy memories and thoughts of special moments and times when you were fully focused on the love you felt for someone else.

Let go of any petty selfish “holdback” you feel, that tries to keep you from letting go and completely feeling the love you have for that special someone.   No one is watching, no one is judging, so there is no reason to hold back.   Picture them in your minds eye, at their most adorable, lovable peek.   Go ahead, I’ll wait. (Don’t keep reading, DO IT if you want the ultimate love life!)

Now if you managed to get yourself into a state of love, you are feeling the rewards. You were not thinking about yourself, but fully engaged about your feelings of care for someone else.  In this state, your own needs disappear, other than your need to be with your loved one, and to take action to show that person how you feel.   Did you want to do something special, or think about hugging or kissing them softly?

“Love is Patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”*

Love transforms YOU into a better person. If you can live the majority of your life in a state of love for others, you will truly have the “ultimate” love life.

*(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)


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