LOVE YOUR LIFE!
with Nate Truman

Is LOVE on your “TO DO” list today?

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.   

1 Corinthians 13:2  NIV

Is love on your list of things to do today? Probably not.  The “To-Do’s” that seem to be on most everyone’s daily lists are worldly items.   Pick this up at the store, learn a new skill,  buy that item, close that deal, and make that follow up call, and so on. People seem to think that once they have money, power, knowledge and influence they will be a success and their list reflects that.

Take a quick look down your list and see if you can find one item you are going to do today that will build a loving relationship you currently have into a closer one.  If you look at your list now with this new focus, you should be able to find an act of service that you are only doing because it is for a loved one.  “Take kids to practice” “Get groceries” “Clean house” “Get oil changed” are all acts of service you do to keep your family’s world running smoothly – but do they know you do those things because you love them? Do you realize now, that is why YOU do them?

We do things and pursue goals for reasons.  If your “To-Do” list has become a weight of guilt around your neck, try finding your root reasons for why you want to accomplish each task. Just implementing this new focus that the unpleasant or repetitive tasks you do each day are to show love to your family, can change your outlook and attitude.  Having a motivating reason for doing something makes the doing a lot easier and more pleasurable as well.  You may also find you cross off a few items, because you have identified the root desire that put the item on your list, and you now no longer want to pursue that goal. 

Love should be at the top of your list everyday.  Add at least one item that is an outward display of love for another human being.  A phone call to a friend who’s having a hard time, a stop for coffee and conversation, a long hug for a spouse or child are good examples.  Then put that at the top of your list, and get at least that one item done today! 

The funny thing about doing this is YOUR day will be happier and more focused when you have love at the top of your list!

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Are you productive, or just busy? 4 steps to get back on track!

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing”

Lao Tzu

I am always busy, but I am not always productive.  I think many people take great pride in being busy.  It’s like saying “look at me, I must be important as there is just not enough of me to go around, so many people need me and my time.”  

What I really want is to be PRODUCTIVE, not busy.   If you are addicted to being busy, here are 4 steps  to help you move from just being busy, to getting things done.

1. Have a plan!  If you don’t know what you want to accomplish, your day will be spent on distractions.  Email, what to have for lunch, that stain on your clothes, office politics, Google image searches, and shuffling papers can fill your day.  You may even feel like you accomplished something because at the end of your day you are tired, and you were BUSY all day long!   To stay productive you need a short list of items you want to accomplish in plain view taped where you have to look at it all day, and allow that list to redirect you every time you see it.  Check you goal “compass” throughout the day to stay on course!

2. Do it completely the first time.  Don’t write or ask imprecise questions that then create new questions.  Ask for specific information or instructions, and then repeat it back to make sure you heard what was said.  Just trading something back and forth is being busy.  Completing the task is being productive.

3. Stop giving away your “life gold.”  If you don’t value your time and attention, advertisers, and unfocused people will steal your life gold.  You have so many minutes to live, so start asking yourself before you start taking on a task “Is this worth my life gold?”   Lao Tzu  understood this  when he said “Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.”  I would rather enjoy the beauty of watching the wind rustle through the trees while letting my mind go blank, than sit in a meeting that I don’t need to be at, or managing email.  When you are dead, no one will say “Wow, her email inbox was almost empty!”    If you can’t be actually productive, don’t wear yourself out with busy work, stop and recharge your batteries. 

4. Simplify everything!  Say “NO” to requests if they do not help you focus on your goals.  Reduce your possessions to those that you actually use.  Each possession will take more life gold.  You have to care for it, repair it, polish it, dust it, and remember where you put it.  Choose any new possession carefully, as it quite possibly will be with you for a lifetime.  Say yes to opportunities or charitable requests that will allow you to be productive in areas of interest that touches your heart.  Volunteering for a church or school event isn’t busy work if you heart and mind agree it’s a good use of your life gold.

Furiously answering emails and engaging in office politics may seem like you are getting something done, but in the end, if nothing changes due to your efforts it’s just busy work.  Start making small observations and changes each day to focus on what you want to produce with your time and effort.  Visualize a shinny gold coin dropping out of your pocket every 10 minutes when you catch yourself being distracted from your chosen goals.  You can’t have that life gold back, it’s gone.  You spent it!   Now decide what you want to spend your next irreplaceable gold coin on!   Ingrain this mind picture into your daily life and it can help you spend your days more wisely on the goals and people that you have decided are truly important to you.  If you spend your life gold consistently on ONLY those goals and people that are important to you, you will be truly productive every day!

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Make Your Personality DNA Work for You, Not Against You!

Friday, September 18th, 2009

by Nate Truman

“If I try to be like him, who will be like me?”

 Yiddish proverb

Not until I was a parent for many years to three children, did I realize that each of my kids had a preprogrammed personality that was there from the start.  We each come hardwired with our base personality and those traits just slowly grow in each of us over time.  This is your Personality DNA. 

There are plenty of personality tests on line (see links below) and if you take a few, you will start coming up with the same general profile that often is eerily accurate.  Taking a Jung-Myers-Briggs type test will probably be eye opening for most people.  Are you and extrovert, or introvert? Do you like a stable life and work environment, or change and action?  Money in the bank, or live for the moment?   Do you think constantly of other’s feelings, or do others say you are often disconnected and unfeeling?  These tests can show you how you are wired right now.  Not what you think you are, or what you want to be, but what your deep down programming really is.

Some personality types are drawn to look inside themselves, and they love these sorts of exams, and can make distinctions in their lives to improve in most areas of life, or at least become aware of weaknesses in them that they can work on.  Other types see it as some sort of “feel good mumbo jumbo” and don’t even bother to see if they can learn something with a little Q and A.   If that was your first thought, take the test anyway. Trust me; you will get something out of it.

So your action item today is to spend a little time getting to know the real you and take a few tests online.  Find a description of you and email it to a few close friends and see if they agree.  You will know when you are right when they write back “Oh my gosh, do they KNOW you?”  Once you get a good picture of your basic programming, it can lead you to discoveries on how to handle almost all of your previous roadblocks and conflicts in your life.

How come you start projects but don’t finish? Why can’t you spend any money on yourself?  Why are you always saying “yes” when someone asks for help?  All of these types of actions can be traced to your personality and your core beliefs.

So now you know if you are an ESFP or whatever.  What now?  Once you discover your inner motivations for your outer actions, you can start to change those goals that are not in line with your personality type, and start finding new ways to move toward those goals you have been sabotaging subconsciously.

We all admire good traits we see in others, and it’s usually the ones we don’t have.  I admire those with instant recall of names and events, because I do NOT have that ability.  With a few reminders I can often access the same memories, but never instantaneously.  After I realized that this was not my strong suit, I started taking memory courses and learning tricks to improve my memory.  I did improve in some areas with great focus, but I also learned something; don’t go against your Personality DNA in your goals! 

A great lawyer enjoys their job, and the best have entire law libraries in their heads.  Guess what; if you love combat, competition, and have a great memory, then  being a lawyer is a good line of work for you.  But take that same person and put him into a family counseling or teaching position and you have a terrible match. You don’t want me as your lawyer, or your accountant, trust me! 

You need to be in sync with who you are to be truly happy and successful in your life.  There are successful lives and jobs and relationships out there for every personality type.  Don’t spend your life striving to be someone you are not, instead create the future you desire within the boundaries of who you are.  

There are very successful people in every personality type and they did it by moving towards what they were hardwired for, not fighting it.   Review your life goals and make sure they are goals you truly want, and are not goals that the world has told you are worthy.   Rich and famous for many people would be an unhappy life.  It takes a certain personality type to deal with fans and people who want a piece of you or your estate all the time.   Take the time today to review who you are, and revise your goals accordingly.

Once you stop swimming against the current, you will effortlessly move towards your ideal life!

Free on line personality test links
Personality Test
Lots of Personality tests

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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
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Why Paying it Forward, Pays Big Dividends!

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

by Nate Truman

Let us not become weary in doing good,

 for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 NIV

“What’s in it for me?”  If this is the first question that pops into your head anytime you hear about an opportunity, you need a new question.   We all know people who always want to get their “cut” before you are finished explaining your idea to them.  Do you want to deal with that kind of person, or better yet, do people think of you as “that guy?”

There is nothing wrong with looking at opportunities, both personal and professional, to see if it’s beneficial for you.  However, if anytime a friend asks a favor or someone at work needs a ride in the other direction your first reaction is “how does that benefit me?” it’s time for you to make a change, and enjoy paying it forward.

The concept has been around a long time with the old adage, “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you” but most people add to that statement in their heads that others should do something helpful FIRST before you do.  

The idea was dramatized a few years ago in a movie with the title “Pay it forward” starring Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey.   A young boy decides he can change the world by paying it forward.  He does three good deeds and he tells those three people that they should do three good deeds for others as repayment.  That one gesture of good will ends up spreading good deeds across the country.

So how does this work for you? Simple. You start first!  Volunteer at your favorite charity.  Ask to do an errand for an elderly person in your life, or take them out to lunch.  Start a program in your Church or school that people have been saying “someone should do something about…”    Help a friend or a friend’s friend move.  Don’t just lend someone your tools, go help.  If someone tells you they are out of work, take their resume, and actually help get them an interview at your company, or make sure it gets to someone you know that can help.  Plan a special dinner for your spouse or a fun secret outing for the family.  Before you know it, you will be getting your investment back two or three fold.   

Here is what will happen after just doing a few “no profit” favors for others in your life.  First, those that you did a favor for will start treating you more nicely.  Who doesn’t like that? Next, they will try and return the favor somehow.   Great!   If you don’t need any help from that person, suggest to them to pay it forward to someone else.  It really is infectious. 

You may be saying to yourself right now that people will just take advantage of you. Yes, some will take your help with out even a thank you.  What’s the worst that can happen in that situation?  Now they owe you a favor.  That sort of person will probably try and avoid you so you don’t ask them to return the favor. Great!  You did a kind act, move on. 

I have been investing in PIF (pay it forward) for some time, and the dividends not only keep growing, they show up in the most amazing ways!   People’s lives are happier and deals that never would have happened get done with a handshake.   I have helped people that are just acquaintances buy or sell big ticket items, get a job, get a pass into a special event, help a mother with a special need kid and many other similar favors with absolutely no interest in any return of the favor.  It makes me feel great, and I find myself wanting to do it again.  Often times just knowing you made a difference in someone’s life is reward enough.

The only problem is, the return on my investment keeps coming back in unexpected ways.  After awhile people know you have the heart to help others, and they start offering to help you.  Opportunities strangely crop up because of a favor you did months or years ago.

For me the best payback is seeing someone who has gone from just hanging on, to becoming alive again and is now helping others in their area of influence.  If you want massive return on your investments in life, pay it forward and watch the magic grow.

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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
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LIFE’S ULTIMATE GOAL!

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

By Nate Truman

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
Helen Keller

Money, power, fame, sex.  Do you want these things?  I don’t believe you do.

You don’t want money or power; you want the security and freedom they allow you in life. 

You don’t want fame or attention from the opposite sex; you want the confidence and pleasure you believe they would bring you.  

So I will grant you all of your desires right now.  With or without money and power, you have the same level of  security that you will be alive tomorrow.  So you have as much security as the rich and powerful.  You have all the freedom you want, as you must choose how to spend your infinite now just like the richest and most powerful persons on the planet.   If anything, money and power rob you of  much of your freedom and time each day.  You are an amazing creation, unlike any other in the universe.  There is no reason for you to not be supremely secure in the understanding that you have a purpose to fulfill, and you have the freedom to pursue it with or without  riches or an exaulted postion.

Fame and beauty are so fleeting they often come and go, and leave the recipients more insecure than they were before.   So instead I give you the understanding that you can decide right this moment to be as confidant as you want to be.  Confidence is a decision.

You can get in touch with your inner beauty and share it with the world.   When she was alive, Mother Theresa in physical terms would not be  considered beautiful, but I dare you to look at photos of her and not see her inner beauty shining out of her eyes!  

In your mind, was Helen Keller cursed or blessed by being born blind, deaf and “dumb?”  She understood that even a silent and dark world was filled with beauty that could not be seen or heard or touched.

You have a connection to the universe inside of your heart.  You must release yourself from striving after goals that, in the end, are no more than dissipating smoke. Then you can begin to identify those needs you truly have for enjoying this gift of life. Only then will you be pursuing  Life’s Ultimate  Goal.

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HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE ANYONE!

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

by Nate Truman

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29 NIV

From before Plato and Socrates, to Dale Carnegie and all the current experts on relationships, people have been trying to figure out how to “make” other people like them, and then be able to influence them. I think we all would agree that life is more enjoyable with good friends to share our lives with. And who wouldn’t enjoy having influence on others when they have a strong desire to have something go their way? Before you wear yourself out learning skills to manipulate others into liking you, I would suggest that you first memorize and then put into practice the above sentence.

I think any “life coach” or motivational speaker of any religion would agree that if you lived out this one idea in your professional and personal life you would have many close friends and have great influence when ever you wanted it.

The first statement is important. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,” that is very clear. If you gossip about others at work, and people know that about you, others may think of you as a good source of “dirt” but I doubt they would also want you to be a close and trusted friend. How do you feel about the person who makes the rude, condescending, off color, or racist remark, or is known for always putting a curse word into every sentence? For whatever reason people do this, it’s not to win friends. It’s to put others down, and try and build themselves up. To win friends and influence people you would do well to live by choosing your words carefully and work to “rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8

Secondly we are urged to speak “…only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” Not only should we aim to say helpful words, but we should choose words that build up the other person. And we can’t do that “according to their needs” unless we have listened to them, and understand their needs.

Lastly, it urges us to speak so “that it may benefit those who listen.” What is the benefit for the other person in what you are saying? If you have that thought in your head, you will come up with helpful, specific and kind words on a regular basis. Do you have a friend who does that for you? Someone who really listens to you and you can count on them to say encouraging words that are helpful and specific? Wouldn’t you like more of your co-workers and friends to speak that way when you are with them? I know I would!

Take the time right now to memorize or print out this one short statement, and start today to apply it each and every time you open your mouth to speak. You will find that the rewards for you will be “winning” more and better friends, and new increased influence when you have something to say!

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HOW TO NEVER STOP DREAMING NEW DREAMS!

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

by Nate Truman

“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.”

Dr. Dale E. Turner

Dreams are a visionary creation of your imagination. Your dreams are the first step to developing a strongly desired goal or purpose.  To live your life awake and aware, you must have a compelling dream to pull you towards your future.  Each of us has had periods of our lives where things were all on autopilot and we became like zombies just going through the paces of our day.   All of the clutter and distractions of daily survival keep us focused on the seemingly urgent but often unimportant tasks that drain much of our essence.  

If you find yourself being drawn to play video games to shut off your mind, or working on crossword puzzles just to get them done, or eating without thinking, but not getting any real pleasure out of doing these activities, it is a sign that you need to regain your dreams.   These kinds of activities are ways your subconscious mind tries to keep you busy, in a primal survival mode.  Your “God mind” is not engaged. 

Your “God mind” is that higher, immortal part of your consciousness where your dreams and purpose lives.

Take a moment right now to stop everything going on in your head and take a few deep breaths to clear your mind.  Now close your eyes and listen to the sound of your thoughts at rest.  Next, “look” around with your minds eye, and wander over to your dreams.

Dust off a few, and see if you can find one you can work on today. Maybe you will find a brand new one!   “See” yourself taking your dream with you, as you come back to reality.  

Now with your shiny dream in your pocket, take a look at the rest of your day or week.  You should be able to find lots of to-do items that you no longer need or want to do, to free up time to pursue your new dream.   This is your life, don’t just survive today, thrive today!  At any age, no matter your circumstances, you can tap into your God mind for those “untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.”

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THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT GOALS OF YOUR LIFE

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

by Nate Truman

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate,
that can circumvent or hinder or control
the firm resolve of a determined soul.”
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

WRITTEN GOALS WORK.
They will set you on a course that you choose. With written goals, you can alter your heading and they will help steer you in a whole new direction. If you currently have goals that you know you will accomplish, I know you all ready have a written list of goals. They probably include long term goals, short term goals, personal goals, fitness goals, spiritual goals, as well as financial and career goals.

But even if you have worked hard at defining what you want in all of these categories, and are checking them off one by one, you may find yourself frustrated. If you sense that the “life ladder” you are busy climbing is possibly leaning against the wrong wall, you need to look at the three most important goals of your life.

Most goal setting programs ask you to write out your hearts desires, in different areas of your life. What kind of house do you want? What are you driving? Who are your future friends? What is your job title? How much money do you have in the bank? I call these the “froth” goals. They may seem to be the end desires and results that are the goals of your life, but they are not.

The three most important goals are global goals, and all of the “froth” goals are the end results of where your global goals point you. Just to be clear, a froth goal would be really nice deck chairs, on a luxury yacht, compared to the global goals of your heading and destination and why you want to get there. Getting there is half the fun, but not when you arrive someplace you didn’t ever want to go to!

GOAL #1 LIVE A LIFE OF INTEGRITY. To end up in a place of true accomplishment and happiness, you must have a goal of personal and professional integrity. If your “froth” goal is one of great wealth, I can tell you that if you pursue that goal without the guiding goal of personal and professional integrity, it will not bring you happiness. Check over you goals and make sure that none of your goals would involve cheating or hurting others to get what you want.

GOAL #2 DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY. In my early goal setting sessions, I wrote down all sorts of goals that the world had told me were “impressive.” There was only one big problem, they were not MY goals.
Until you work out what God has called you to do in life, you will swim against that current as hard as you can, but you will never arrive where the universe needs you to be. You have an inner love, a preset internal goal that has always been with you. How many parents have “planned” what sort of children they will raise together, only to discover that they came into this world fully programmed with their personality and direction for life? Spend some quiet time looking over your written goals, but also look for the larger unwritten goal. What specific global goal do you want to be using your time on Earth working towards?

GOAL #3 CHOOSE YOUR LEGACY. The last goal that you must have clearly in your mind is the answer to this question: What will your legacy be? What will remain after you are dead and gone? The spark of immortality seems to be inside each of us, and the idea of death seems more like a concept, even though everything tells us we will die, we seem to disbelieve it. You think you are going to live forever, and so far so good, right?
Well, to truly have all your limited time put to its best use, you must stop and ponder this question of what you will leave behind. For some it will be healthy, well loved children, improved lives because you were involved, or an endowment for a specific charity that played a part in your life. I don’t mean for you to set some sort of goal to get your name chiseled in stone, I want you to think long and hard about what sort of ripple you desire to have made in the lives you touched along your path. 100 years from now, no one will care about your body fat percentage, or if you had the latest clothes. Pay it forward, and invest in something that will outlast you.

Once you have a firm set of the three most important goals in your life, you can enjoy the journey, and the nice deck chairs, knowing you are headed in your true direction.

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3 STEPS TO LIVING THE PERFECT LIFE

Friday, July 31st, 2009

by Nate Truman

“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no
recipe for living that suits all cases.” CARL JUNG, 1875 -1961

I agree with Carl, but I still want shoes! I wanted to address this issue right out of the box. I am not going to suggest that I have all the right answers that will help you to perfect your specific life issues. But I do firmly believe that there are distinctions that apply to everyone that can not only improve your life, and make you happier, but also will set you on a new course for a better today, and tomorrow.

So today I want you to try these three steps, and see if you can live this one day
not perfectly, but happily different!

STEP 1: ENGAGE the world! You may have heard this idea in a bit meaner way as “Snap out of it!” or “WAKE UP”! Do you find yourself constantly on “autopilot” throughout your day? What exactly are you waiting for, to engage your brain and total attention? A car crashing through your wall? The world is fascinating in every direction, but you have trained yourself to tune it out. So for the next week, notice something new around you as often as possible. Really look at the people and scenery on the way through your day. When you spend more time fully engaged and aware, new opportunities seem to start popping up! They were always there, but this is a first step in opening yourself up to receiving them.

STEP 2: SMILE. Look at yourself in the mirror, so you can remember how much better you look when you smile, and offer that face to everyone. Put up some sort of item next to your mirror where you will see it that makes you smile. Find a photo of a good friend, lover, a quote, or just a cute picture of something that tickles your funny bone. Smiles look best when they come from the inside out! Why do you smile when someone takes a photo? Try NOT smiling just once, and keep that photo as a reminder. Start a “collection” in your brain of moments and people who bring a smile to your face when you think about them, and when you realize your smile has faded, take a second to pull up a happy memory. Try that right now! I’ll wait.

STEP 3: LISTEN. The reason each of us develop the “autopilot” mode, is there is so much around us to see, hear, touch, taste, smell, and do, that we train ourselves to tune out most everything. Have you ever said a whole sentence to someone, face to face, and at the end they stare at you and then say “What?” So you repeat it all, and they hear it just fine? Do YOU do that to others? Listening is the ONLY way to learn something new. If you are planning what to say instead of listening, or worse, just waiting for the other person to stop talking, there is no chance you can learn from that person. I have never met someone that didn’t have something to teach me, but I had to listen, to find the lesson. So just today, focus on being aware of your universe, smile kindly at everyone, and when someone speaks, listen intently, and then ask them a specific question to see if you truly heard what they were saying. You may find you want to do all of these things more than just today!

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