9 Ultimate Goals for 2010 – your new list for the perfect life!

 

Time to renew, and review your list of goals for a new decade!  

If you are all ready a “goal person” I am going to skip past the basics categories and go straight to the ultimate goals you are searching for in your life.

Instead of triggering you to come up with what you want physically, emotionally, economically, religiously or what achievements you want to work on in the next 365 days, I want  to start with your big picture. 

A new expensive car, a bigger house, a better job, more sales, a better stronger body, better connection with your family, are not really goals, they are all ways to the ultimate goals of happiness and contentment.   Each of us strives after these sorts of goals not because we want those things, but because of how we believe they will make us feel when we get them.  

If a new impressive car actually impresses those people you think are important, then the car helps you attain your goal of feeling equal, or less inferior.  But you can attain the goal of feeling comfortable and equal with anyone without the car.  Once you can identify the tricks your ego plays on you, you will have the power to rise above and attain your real goals of happiness and contentment every day.

If you have a list of short and long term goals, review them and identify what you truly think you will receive when you achieve them. Take the time to jot down beside each goal what your true desire is behind each item.

A big impressive house comes with an impressive mortgage.  Attaining that goal might trigger fear of loss, or a lack of freedom to change jobs. Is that what you truly want?

The desire for a mansion or even your own house instead of renting is not that you desire being locked into a 30 year mortgage, who wants that?  It’s how you think owning your own house would make you feel that drives you to pursue it.     If controlling your own little piece of pretend property would make you feel secure, less fearful and more grounded you can have all of those things with or without the house.  I say “pretend property” because you can’t really own anything. You can have some sort of control over things for a period of time, but you know that others will live in your house at some point in the future. I am the third owner of my current home, even though I have lived there for 20 years, and at some point in the future, it will be sold or passed on to others. 

To reach your ultimate goals, you must understand that you are not your collection of possessions; they will be owned by someone after you, or discarded.

You are not your job; you will retire or move into another position eventually.   You are not your family, you are not your achievements, and you are not your physical body.

If you have evolved to the point where you can read those statements and understand they are true, you know that all you are and ever have been is your thoughts.   You can not take your ego trophies into the next life, and all your earthly pursuits are vanity.

If, however, a job, relationship, hobby, or pursuit consistently puts you in a state of contentment and happiness, then it is a good path for your achievement of your higher goals.  

Now I know that you may be thinking “Hey, I like playing videogames or surfing the web, it makes me content or happy, so instead of working toward big goals I should just do stuff like that forever?”    Obviously, no, that’s not what I am saying. 

The gift I want to give you is one of clarity of purpose.  When you know WHY you are striving after each of your goals, you can modify them so that you actually get what you truly desire in your soul.

If you can put at least one of the following “ultimate goals” next to each of  your list of  “thing/achievement” goals I know you will rethink your goal list in a whole new way this year. 

Love: (Unselfish, benevolent concern for another) Does your goal demonstrate your love for someone else?

Joy: (Great delight; gladness of heart) Does this goal bring you and others true and lasting happiness?

Peace: (Tranquility, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord) Does this goal remove strife from your life, and does it bring peace and calm to others?

Patience: (Endurance and steadfastness under provocation, with no thought of retaliation) Does your goal help you develop patience?

Kindness: (Love for mankind, hospitality, readiness to help, human friendship, benevolence, taking thought of others, Goodness in action, sweetness of disposition, gentleness in dealing with others)  Do you have a goal of attaining these attributes?  If not, wouldn’t you want that list to be attributed to you by the people you know if they were asked to describe you?

Goodness: (An inner purity of thought that produces a generosity and total lack of selfishness.) Children are quick to sense and pick up on this quality in people who really have it.  My Autistic son Nicky sees it and is drawn to people who have it  like a magnet.  Do you have a goal that moves you toward being a truly good person? Do you know someone who would never use you or manipulate you for his own personal gain because they are incapable of even thinking that way?   Make a goal of being that person for someone else.

Faithfulness: (Steadfast, dedicated, dependable and worthy of trust) Which of your goals help you improve your standing with others as being trustworthy?

Gentleness: (Even-tempered, tranquil, balanced in spirit, unpretentious, a person who has their passions under control) Do any of your goals reflect a desire to be defined as gentle?

Self control: (Sober, temperate, calm and dispassionate approach to life, having mastered personal desires and passions)   This is really the final result of putting all of the other 8 goals into action.  You will no longer be ruled by your personal desires and passions, instead you will be focusd on being the best “you” in the present moment.  Incorporate these 9 goals into your daily life and you will live in a constant place of happiness and joy not only for you, but for everyone who has the pleasure of being in your life.

This list has been around a long time, but every one of them is still valid to be on your ultimate goals list. These 9 “fruits of the spirit” are really the keys to living a perfect life, or at least as close to perfect as humanly possible.  I  wish for you happiness and joy in the coming year!

Why Paying it Forward, Pays Big Dividends!

by Nate Truman

1124721_we_have_a_dealLet us not become weary in doing good,

 for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 NIV

 

 

 

“What’s in it for me?”  If this is the first question that pops into your head anytime you hear about an opportunity, you need a new question.   We all know people who always want to get their “cut” before you are finished explaining your idea to them.  Do you want to deal with that kind of person, or better yet, do people think of you as “that guy?”

There is nothing wrong with looking at opportunities, both personal and professional, to see if it’s beneficial for you.  However, if anytime a friend asks a favor or someone at work needs a ride in the other direction your first reaction is “how does that benefit me?” it’s time for you to make a change, and enjoy paying it forward.

The concept has been around a long time with the old adage, “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you” but most people add to that statement in their heads that others should do something helpful FIRST before you do.  

The idea was dramatized a few years ago in a movie with the title “Pay it forward” starring Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey.   A young boy decides he can change the world by paying it forward.  He does three good deeds and he tells those three people that they should do three good deeds for others as repayment.  That one gesture of good will ends up spreading good deeds across the country.

So how does this work for you? Simple. You start first!  Volunteer at your favorite charity.  Ask to do an errand for an elderly person in your life, or take them out to lunch.  Start a program in your Church or school that people have been saying “someone should do something about…”    Help a friend or a friend’s friend move.  Don’t just lend someone your tools, go help.  If someone tells you they are out of work, take their resume, and actually help get them an interview at your company, or make sure it gets to someone you know that can help.  Plan a special dinner for your spouse or a fun secret outing for the family.  Before you know it, you will be getting your investment back two or three fold.   

Here is what will happen after just doing a few “no profit” favors for others in your life.  First, those that you did a favor for will start treating you more nicely.  Who doesn’t like that? Next, they will try and return the favor somehow.   Great!   If you don’t need any help from that person, suggest to them to pay it forward to someone else.  It really is infectious. 

You may be saying to yourself right now that people will just take advantage of you. Yes, some will take your help with out even a thank you.  What’s the worst that can happen in that situation?  Now they owe you a favor.  That sort of person will probably try and avoid you so you don’t ask them to return the favor. Great!  You did a kind act, move on. 

I have been investing in PIF (pay it forward) for some time, and the dividends not only keep growing, they show up in the most amazing ways!   People’s lives are happier and deals that never would have happened get done with a handshake.   I have helped people that are just acquaintances buy or sell big ticket items, get a job, get a pass into a special event, help a mother with a special need kid and many other similar favors with absolutely no interest in any return of the favor.  It makes me feel great, and I find myself wanting to do it again.  Often times just knowing you made a difference in someone’s life is reward enough.

The only problem is, the return on my investment keeps coming back in unexpected ways.  After awhile people know you have the heart to help others, and they start offering to help you.  Opportunities strangely crop up because of a favor you did months or years ago.

For me the best payback is seeing someone who has gone from just hanging on, to becoming alive again and is now helping others in their area of influence.  If you want massive return on your investments in life, pay it forward and watch the magic grow.

HOW TO WRITE YOUR PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

by Nate Truman
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“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”  Anne Frank

 

A personal mission statement gives you clarity of purpose.  Most corporations have them, but unless they are the written down vision of a single person who started the company, they often become politically correct mumbo jumbo and that’s not what I am talking about here. You are going to create a short, clear sentence that defines who you are and who you want to be in the future.

To start you off, here are some short, clear examples of corporate statements.

3M – “To solve unsolved problems innovatively”
Mary Kay Cosmetics – “To give unlimited opportunity to women.”
Merck  – “To preserve and improve human life.”
Wal-Mart – “To give ordinary folk the chance to buy the same thing as rich people.”
Walt Disney – “To make people happy.”

 

Your mission should answer the following questions: Why are you here? What impact do you want to make when you get up every day?

 

You should also ponder your vision of your future, when composing your statement.  Where do you want to be in the future? 5 years, 10 years? Where do you see yourself at that time?  What changes can you see being made after years of your focus in a new direction?

 

The last item to include in your thinking is your values.  They are your rule book, so to make sure you don’t trample your core beliefs in your effort to move toward your vision, also keep those in front of you as you form your personal mission statement.

 

Then connect all three as a single message.  If you can make it as short as possible, it will be easier to keep in your head to redirect you when you wander off track during your day.   Don’t get stuck trying to write the “perfect” mission statement, it will change over your life’s journey. 

I think you will find that spending just a few minutes on creating a “slogan” for your life, you will gain a new clarity of purpose that you didn’t have before.   If you have a favorite quote that resonates with all of these elements, use it as your personal statement, or change it so it calls you to action.

  I have personalized a quote from Gandhi that keeps me more focused:

“I must be the change I want to see in the world.”

It calls me to action, it holds me accountable, and it applies in every aspect of my life.  Feel free to use it for yourself!  The quote from Anne Frank at the beginning has also been useful to me over the years.  It too keeps me focused on the positive change I can dedicate myself too and that I can start right now.   

Currently my personal mission statements are the following:

Today I have been given the gift of life; I will open it, enjoy it, and treasure it.

The longer one is “Spend each infinite now as best I can to leave the world a better, happier, love filled place.”

Enjoy the process of defining your personal mission statement.  Once you refine it so that each time you read it, it has the effect of correcting your life’s heading with renewed vigor, you will have found your “magic” words to keep you living out your dream life.

THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT GOALS OF YOUR LIFE

by Nate Truman

856132_ships_wheelThere is no chance, no destiny, no fate,
that can circumvent or hinder or control
the firm resolve of a determined soul.”

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

WRITTEN GOALS WORK.
They will set you on a course that you choose. With written goals, you can alter your heading and they will help steer you in a whole new direction. If you currently have goals that you know you will accomplish, I know you all ready have a written list of goals. They probably include long term goals, short term goals, personal goals, fitness goals, spiritual goals, as well as financial and career goals.

But even if you have worked hard at defining what you want in all of these categories, and are checking them off one by one, you may find yourself frustrated. If you sense that the “life ladder” you are busy climbing is possibly leaning against the wrong wall, you need to look at the three most important goals of your life.

Most goal setting programs ask you to write out your hearts desires, in different areas of your life. What kind of house do you want? What are you driving? Who are your future friends? What is your job title? How much money do you have in the bank? I call these the “froth” goals. They may seem to be the end desires and results that are the goals of your life, but they are not.

The three most important goals are global goals, and all of the “froth” goals are the end results of where your global goals point you. Just to be clear, a froth goal would be really nice deck chairs, on a luxury yacht, compared to the global goals of your heading and destination and why you want to get there. Getting there is half the fun, but not when you arrive someplace you didn’t ever want to go to!

GOAL #1 LIVE A LIFE OF INTEGRITY. To end up in a place of true accomplishment and happiness, you must have a goal of personal and professional integrity. If your “froth” goal is one of great wealth, I can tell you that if you pursue that goal without the guiding goal of personal and professional integrity, it will not bring you happiness. Check over you goals and make sure that none of your goals would involve cheating or hurting others to get what you want.

GOAL #2 DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY. In my early goal setting sessions, I wrote down all sorts of goals that the world had told me were “impressive.” There was only one big problem, they were not MY goals.
Until you work out what God has called you to do in life, you will swim against that current as hard as you can, but you will never arrive where the universe needs you to be. You have an inner love, a preset internal goal that has always been with you. How many parents have “planned” what sort of children they will raise together, only to discover that they came into this world fully programmed with their personality and direction for life? Spend some quiet time looking over your written goals, but also look for the larger unwritten goal. What specific global goal do you want to be using your time on Earth working towards?

GOAL #3 CHOOSE YOUR LEGACY. The last goal that you must have clearly in your mind is the answer to this question: What will your legacy be? What will remain after you are dead and gone? The spark of immortality seems to be inside each of us, and the idea of death seems more like a concept, even though everything tells us we will die, we seem to disbelieve it. You think you are going to live forever, and so far so good, right?
Well, to truly have all your limited time put to its best use, you must stop and ponder this question of what you will leave behind. For some it will be healthy, well loved children, improved lives because you were involved, or an endowment for a specific charity that played a part in your life. I don’t mean for you to set some sort of goal to get your name chiseled in stone, I want you to think long and hard about what sort of ripple you desire to have made in the lives you touched along your path. 100 years from now, no one will care about your body fat percentage, or if you had the latest clothes. Pay it forward, and invest in something that will outlast you.

Once you have a firm set of the three most important goals in your life, you can enjoy the journey, and the nice deck chairs, knowing you are headed in your true direction.


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