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Make Your Personality DNA Work for You, Not Against You!

Friday, September 18th, 2009

by Nate Truman

 

 

personality

“If I try to be like him, who will be like me?”

 Yiddish proverb

 

Not until I was a parent for many years to three children, did I realize that each of my kids had a preprogrammed personality that was there from the start.  We each come hardwired with our base personality and those traits just slowly grow in each of us over time.  This is your Personality DNA. 

 

There are plenty of personality tests on line (see links below) and if you take a few, you will start coming up with the same general profile that often is eerily accurate.  Taking a Jung-Myers-Briggs type test will probably be eye opening for most people.  Are you and extrovert, or introvert? Do you like a stable life and work environment, or change and action?  Money in the bank, or live for the moment?   Do you think constantly of other’s feelings, or do others say you are often disconnected and unfeeling?  These tests can show you how you are wired right now.  Not what you think you are, or what you want to be, but what your deep down programming really is.

 

Some personality types are drawn to look inside themselves, and they love these sorts of exams, and can make distinctions in their lives to improve in most areas of life, or at least become aware of weaknesses in them that they can work on.  Other types see it as some sort of “feel good mumbo jumbo” and don’t even bother to see if they can learn something with a little Q and A.   If that was your first thought, take the test anyway. Trust me; you will get something out of it.

 

So your action item today is to spend a little time getting to know the real you and take a few tests online.  Find a description of you and email it to a few close friends and see if they agree.  You will know when you are right when they write back “Oh my gosh, do they KNOW you?”  Once you get a good picture of your basic programming, it can lead you to discoveries on how to handle almost all of your previous roadblocks and conflicts in your life.

 

How come you start projects but don’t finish? Why can’t you spend any money on yourself?  Why are you always saying “yes” when someone asks for help?  All of these types of actions can be traced to your personality and your core beliefs.

 

So now you know if you are an ESFP or whatever.  What now?  Once you discover your inner motivations for your outer actions, you can start to change those goals that are not in line with your personality type, and start finding new ways to move toward those goals you have been sabotaging subconsciously.

 

We all admire good traits we see in others, and it’s usually the ones we don’t have.  I admire those with instant recall of names and events, because I do NOT have that ability.  With a few reminders I can often access the same memories, but never instantaneously.  After I realized that this was not my strong suit, I started taking memory courses and learning tricks to improve my memory.  I did improve in some areas with great focus, but I also learned something; don’t go against your Personality DNA in your goals! 

A great lawyer enjoys their job, and the best have entire law libraries in their heads.  Guess what; if you love combat, competition, and have a great memory, then  being a lawyer is a good line of work for you.  But take that same person and put him into a family counseling or teaching position and you have a terrible match. You don’t want me as your lawyer, or your accountant, trust me! 

 

You need to be in sync with who you are to be truly happy and successful in your life.  There are successful lives and jobs and relationships out there for every personality type.  Don’t spend your life striving to be someone you are not, instead create the future you desire within the boundaries of who you are.  

 

There are very successful people in every personality type and they did it by moving towards what they were hardwired for, not fighting it.   Review your life goals and make sure they are goals you truly want, and are not goals that the world has told you are worthy.   Rich and famous for many people would be an unhappy life.  It takes a certain personality type to deal with fans and people who want a piece of you or your estate all the time.   Take the time today to review who you are, and revise your goals accordingly.

Once you stop swimming against the current, you will effortlessly move towards your ideal life!

Free on line personality test links
Personality Test
Lots of Personality tests


Self Realization Positive Thinking Quotes to Attain Perfection in Life.
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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
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Why Paying it Forward, Pays Big Dividends!

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

by Nate Truman

1124721_we_have_a_dealLet us not become weary in doing good,

 for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 NIV

 

 

 

“What’s in it for me?”  If this is the first question that pops into your head anytime you hear about an opportunity, you need a new question.   We all know people who always want to get their “cut” before you are finished explaining your idea to them.  Do you want to deal with that kind of person, or better yet, do people think of you as “that guy?”

There is nothing wrong with looking at opportunities, both personal and professional, to see if it’s beneficial for you.  However, if anytime a friend asks a favor or someone at work needs a ride in the other direction your first reaction is “how does that benefit me?” it’s time for you to make a change, and enjoy paying it forward.

The concept has been around a long time with the old adage, “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you” but most people add to that statement in their heads that others should do something helpful FIRST before you do.  

The idea was dramatized a few years ago in a movie with the title “Pay it forward” starring Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey.   A young boy decides he can change the world by paying it forward.  He does three good deeds and he tells those three people that they should do three good deeds for others as repayment.  That one gesture of good will ends up spreading good deeds across the country.

So how does this work for you? Simple. You start first!  Volunteer at your favorite charity.  Ask to do an errand for an elderly person in your life, or take them out to lunch.  Start a program in your Church or school that people have been saying “someone should do something about…”    Help a friend or a friend’s friend move.  Don’t just lend someone your tools, go help.  If someone tells you they are out of work, take their resume, and actually help get them an interview at your company, or make sure it gets to someone you know that can help.  Plan a special dinner for your spouse or a fun secret outing for the family.  Before you know it, you will be getting your investment back two or three fold.   

Here is what will happen after just doing a few “no profit” favors for others in your life.  First, those that you did a favor for will start treating you more nicely.  Who doesn’t like that? Next, they will try and return the favor somehow.   Great!   If you don’t need any help from that person, suggest to them to pay it forward to someone else.  It really is infectious. 

You may be saying to yourself right now that people will just take advantage of you. Yes, some will take your help with out even a thank you.  What’s the worst that can happen in that situation?  Now they owe you a favor.  That sort of person will probably try and avoid you so you don’t ask them to return the favor. Great!  You did a kind act, move on. 

I have been investing in PIF (pay it forward) for some time, and the dividends not only keep growing, they show up in the most amazing ways!   People’s lives are happier and deals that never would have happened get done with a handshake.   I have helped people that are just acquaintances buy or sell big ticket items, get a job, get a pass into a special event, help a mother with a special need kid and many other similar favors with absolutely no interest in any return of the favor.  It makes me feel great, and I find myself wanting to do it again.  Often times just knowing you made a difference in someone’s life is reward enough.

The only problem is, the return on my investment keeps coming back in unexpected ways.  After awhile people know you have the heart to help others, and they start offering to help you.  Opportunities strangely crop up because of a favor you did months or years ago.

For me the best payback is seeing someone who has gone from just hanging on, to becoming alive again and is now helping others in their area of influence.  If you want massive return on your investments in life, pay it forward and watch the magic grow.

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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
Posted in Friendship, HABITS, Influence, Legacy, Sales, Serendipity, balanced living, better living, happiness, integrity, life mastery, smile | 7 Comments »

Make Serendipity Work in Your Life Today!

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

by Nate Truman

“Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer’s daughter.”
- Julius Comroe Jr.

1186848_course_srb_1Serendipity means an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. The word was coined by Horace Walpole (1717-92) he said he formed it from the Persian fairy tale “The Three Princes of Serendip,” whose heroes “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.”

 

 For the first time in history, we have the power to experience many lifetimes of special moments, thanks to technology.

When I drive my TV style batmobile to charity events, I love to see the variety of responses from people. The reaction I seem to be drawn to lately, is the person so lost in their own little world that they don’t even notice what is going on around them that is unique and special.   With others around them pointing and shouting out “Look, it’s the Batmobile!” they stare at their cell phones or watches, unable to break free for a moment of serendipity.
Thanks to “youtube” live performances or lost TV shows can now live again, and amongst the thousands of clips and videos, there are a few that will move you if you let them.  Below is one such video of a beautiful dance performed by dancers who have lost limbs. No one else in the world could perform this dance.  To me it was a beautiful statement on how lovers complete each other, and without the other, are less than whole.  Take a deep breath and sit for a moment, and watch this short dance.
Now, you may be moved to be thankful for having all your limbs, or you may wish you could dance half as well as these performers, but that’s not what I hope you take away from this special performance. 
 All around you, every day there is beauty.  There are smiles. Funny happenings that you are missing.   Special moments that come and are gone in a flash at your dinner table, or in your back yard.  More importantly, you can create serendipitous moments just by being open to the “infinite now” that you are in.   If you look for the wonderous, the good, the unique, they will start appearing.   Unfortunately, the same is true when you look for the ugly, the unfair, the mundane and the evil.  One aspect of serendipity to bear in mind is that you have to be looking for something in order to find something else.
 
In this brief moment, look up, and enjoy the positive serendipity all around you today!
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How To Release Your Inner Power Today!

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

by Nate Truman

release your power “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson, a Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Read the above quote at least twice, and read it slowly, so you internalize each word and idea.

We all share a secret: we each know the “real” person that we are, but don’t dare show it to the world in all it’s glory. I don’t mean the deep dark secrets where we have fallen short, but the secret person we KNOW we could be: the amazingly loving, helpful, kind, brave talented person inside. We have each made sure that person doesn’t get out. We all know what happens to people who wear their hearts on their sleeves, or appear to care about others. So we protect our inner selves, we hide our kinder side, so we can be tough and withstand the insults and disappointments. We never fully commit to something, so we can say we didn’t really try.

What would happen if instead of spending so much time defending and protecting our lack of effort, we really let that inner amazing person take over? It just takes one decision. If you make one decision right now, to allow yourself to blossom and reach out to someone today, you start a whole new direction. Yes it has to be followed by one more decision in the same direction, but your life’s journey is a series of single steps.

Each decision to move toward a positive goal is a step in the right direction. Sure, you can always decide to step back, or stop walking and start complaining. However, any great goal, any huge life change is only accomplished by first making one  decision.

Make a list. Make a call. Push the plate away. The more decisions you make in a new direction, the easier they get. I know the first workout after months of inactivity is always harder to decide to do, than my 30th workout in a row. Reaching out to a friend or family member that you have not talked to in months or years the first time is much more difficult than a quick call to a constant pal.

So make that one decision today. Show the world your powerful inner self. Share your talents, help the helpless, have your best day of sales ever. Just one little decision after another, and before you know it, the world will see a whole new you!

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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
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The Ring of Results is the Only Way to Get Yourself to Take Action!

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

by Nate Truman

1187159_abstract_circle_shape

 

“You’ve got to be before you can do, and do before you can have.”
Zig Ziglar

 

Are you a failure in some aspect of your life? You just can’t lose weight and get in shape, or you can never get organized?  Do all of your relationships end in disaster?  Do you often think if you could just get a break, a small sucees, THEN you could turn things around?

Do you all ready know what you should be doing today, but tell yourself that you will start tomorrow, or right after the next cookie or after watching some TV?  Chances are you don’t need anything to turn these “failures” into successes except one thing.

The right BELIEF.   Think of something you are successful at every time, every day. 

It can be as simple as driving to work.  When you get in your car, are you CERTAIN you are going to make it to your workplace?  I understand most people don’t think that getting to work is a success, but the reason you can do it without hesitation is that you BELIEVE you will be fine, even though logically you know there is always a risk.   Why is that?

I call it the Ring of Results.

You set a goal (get to work), you take action (you get in your car and go), you get results (you arrive safely again), which then reinforces your belief that you can successfully get to work every day.  Now I know there are people who have had car accidents, that don’t share that certainty that they will be able to do that, and can end up so afraid that they quit their job or get someone else to drive them.  So your beliefs are based on your results, good or bad.

The key to getting the ring of results rolling in the right direction towards your goals is to create the results you desire in your head first.   If you can see in your minds eye all ready achieving your goal, that will create in your subconscious a belief that you will be able to get there.  That belief will tap more of your potential and in turn will drive you to take more action.  That larger action will create positive results, which then strengthens your belief that you can achieve your goal!

Truly believing that you can achieve some result  before you achieve it  is the key to starting the ring of results rolling.  Once you convince your mind, your inner potential will be energized; you will take massive action because you want that result you absolutely KNOW you are going to achieve.  That action will start showing results, and those real results will strengthen your belief that you can achieve even more!

So start the ring rolling in the right direction by visualizing yourself  all ready having the results you want.  Picture it, focus on it, feel it in your soul that it has all ready happened. Unleash your mind from uncertainty, you have achieved your goal all ready.   Once you feel you have this image clearly in your mind, you will want to take massive action toward that goal, because the more you do, the faster you will fulfill your minds belief.  Start with certainty in your heart and mind, and you will create the future you envisioned for yourself!


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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
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LIFE’S ULTIMATE GOAL!

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

By Nate Truman

1091624_success_succeed_business_money_sign“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
Helen Keller

 

Money, power, fame, sex.  Do you want these things?  I don’t believe you do.

You don’t want money or power; you want the security and freedom they allow you in life. 

You don’t want fame or attention from the opposite sex; you want the confidence and pleasure you believe they would bring you.  

So I will grant you all of your desires right now.  With or without money and power, you have the same level of  security that you will be alive tomorrow.  So you have as much security as the rich and powerful.  You have all the freedom you want, as you must choose how to spend your infinite now just like the richest and most powerful persons on the planet.   If anything, money and power rob you of  much of your freedom and time each day.  You are an amazing creation, unlike any other in the universe.  There is no reason for you to not be supremely secure in the understanding that you have a purpose to fulfill, and you have the freedom to pursue it with or without  riches or an exaulted postion.

Fame and beauty are so fleeting they often come and go, and leave the recipients more insecure than they were before.   So instead I give you the understanding that you can decide right this moment to be as confidant as you want to be.  Confidence is a decision.

You can get in touch with your inner beauty and share it with the world.   When she was alive, Mother Theresa in physical terms would not be  considered beautiful, but I dare you to look at photos of her and not see her inner beauty shining out of her eyes!  

In your mind, was Helen Keller cursed or blessed by being born blind, deaf and “dumb?”  She understood that even a silent and dark world was filled with beauty that could not be seen or heard or touched.

You have a connection to the universe inside of your heart.  You must release yourself from striving after goals that, in the end, are no more than dissipating smoke. Then you can begin to identify those needs you truly have for enjoying this gift of life. Only then will you be pursuing  Life’s Ultimate  Goal.

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Tags: balanced living, better living, destiny, Dreams, Goals, HABITS, happiness, Health and Fitness, Influence, integrity, Legacy, life mastery, motivation, Sales, self helpFriendship, Serendipity, smile, Uncategorized
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HOW TO BECOME A JOY FOUNTAIN!

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

by Nate Truman

joy fountain“The great teachings unanimously emphasize that all the peace, wisdom, and joy in the universe are already within us; we don’t have to gain, develop, or attain them. We’re like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight. We don’t need to imagine trees, flowers, deer, birds, and sky; we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we really are — as soon as we quit pretending we’re small or unholy.”

Unknown

 

 

 

 

Are you a “Joy Fountain?”  You are capable of choosing to be joyful every moment.  With each exchange with someone there is a choice.  You are in control of your decisions, not others, not the world, not fate.   If someone insults you, you can decide to return insult for insult, or you can decide to decline their “gift.”  Then it will still belong to the person who wanted to “give” it to you.   

Give only love, and don’t accept “gifts” of hate or guilt.  Instead offer grace in exchange, they are wounded people dealing with their own struggles.

 

A fountain flows, leaps, and sparkles, no matter who is watching it.

The next time you see a fountain in a park or public place, go and sit for a few minutes, and watch people’s reactions.

There will probably be children who marvel at the shooting waters. They want to point it out to their mother or friends.  The want to splash and swim in it.  Their innate urge is to dive into the joy and beauty.

 

There will probably be the timid adults who sit on the edge and dip in a finger, after making sure no one is looking.  Other’s may make a wish and toss in a coin.

 

The grumpy person will be frustrated that he has to walk around the fountain.  He might stare at the ground to make sure he doesn’t slip and frowns at the kids that are “in the way.”

 

In your circle of influence you can spout love and joy all the time, regardless of how people respond to your positive fountain.   Each time you consciously choose a loving positive response to another person, the change will be inside of you.  You are a wondrous one of a kind creation.  With each decision to honor the preciousness of others by choosing to see the good in them, or to offer kindness instead of selfishness, you improve your life.   So decide to sparkle, dance, and splash joy today. Become a Joy Fountain!


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AUTISM AND THE CHURCH

Friday, August 14th, 2009

autismsunday01by Nate Truman

“Chaos is in fact just an illusion created by your inability to perceive the order in which things truly are.” Alyson Bradley, Autistic blogger.

As a father of a 15 year old son who suffers from severe autism, my family has taken a less traveled path.  As a pastor’s son who grew up with church being a central part of my spiritual and social life, the church has played an important role in my world.

When worlds collide there is always chaos.  However, out of that chaos, I believe great good can come about.   Daniel Dage wrote a blog that very easily could have been about my son Nicholas, and the road we have traveled trying to attend church with an autistic child. 

In many ways we are blessed that Nicky is “easy” compared to many other children. However, the stress, the judging eyes, and just giving up and not going to church are all things my wife and I have dealt with over the years.  As his childlike “cuteness” has faded and he is approaching 15, we know we have unknown challenges ahead.

 

This one quote from a mom sums up why our really great special needs Sunday school class called “Friends of Angels” is not overflowing with autistic kids:

 ”Staying home is a more Holy, peaceful and rejuvenating experience for many families that have children with disabilities. Church is often a hostile, hellish experience where families are segregated or ostracized.”

 

Wow. The one place that should be a haven for these families, is often the place they are shown the least grace and compassion.  When we were “church shopping” after a move, unlike other families that would just check their kids into the appropriate classrooms, we did things differently.  The family would stay in the car and either my wife or I would go in and ask if they had any special needs teachers, for handicapped kids.  4 out of 5 times we would get a blank stare.   After asking a few other people if there was anyone who could help our “family by the side of the road,” we were often told “well, there’s a crying room.”  We would then drive to the next church.

With the help of another family with three autistic boys, we decided to build a class around our 4 kids.  Often the other father and I would be out in the playground during church when volunteers did not show up so our wives could at least get an hour of worship in.  Over time I have learned what the church needs to reach out to autistic families sucessfully. 

By listening with a differently trained ear over the years, one thing that stands out is that Autism truly is a “spectrum” disorder. Each child has to be included differently based on where they are in the spectrum. There needs to be an educated special needs volunteer or staff member at each church that is knowledgeable and listens to each parent.  That special teacher learns each child so one kid will be properly placed in with the “nurotypicals,” another in a separate class, and yet another in with the other kids, but with a helper.  

What many people don’t understand is the value and character building effect they will have on the whole church body.   Highschoolers who help out are forever changed into kinder people.  Selfishness falls away, and petty “chuch wars” disappear.  These special kids can activate sideline members to be included and find purpose in helping someone who’s problems are far more severe than their own.

 

Not every mom or dad can rise to the challenge and start a ministry – many are holding on by a thread and really need a lifetime of Christ like care from their church family.    Many churches all ready have classes for the disabled. In the past they were for either physical disabilities or Down syndrome. Autism is a whole new world of variables that won’t fit into a lesson plan.

 

At the very bottom of the comments one mom put it pretty clearly:
“I think if they (Church volunteers) complained to God about how hard it was that Sunday when my (autistic) son was there, God would have said “Find a way and minister to all my children. Not just the easy ones.” 

 

It’s not easy when being a Christian urges you to step out and minister to those who seemingly don’t appreciate it, or are not any “fun” to help.    However, I know what answer awaits all the helpers of autistic children and families:

 

‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’

 The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

 

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HOW TO CHANGE ANY BAD HABIT – TODAY!

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

by Nate Truman

1151706_boy_sucking_fingers“All our talents increase in the using, and every faculty, both good and bad, strengthens by exercise.”

ANNE BRONTE, 1820-1849

 

 

PRACTICE MAKES PERMANENT!
If you are not in the place where you think you should be, stop and think about what you have practiced. If you are in great physical shape, I know it is because of your eating and exercising practices. If your relationships are strong, loving and trusting, I know what you practiced when you were interacting with others. If your finances are all in order, you have little or no debt, and you have a plan for future adventures and expenses, I know the kinds of habits you practice. There is one little problem with practice though, the opposite is true as well.

Your daily time is limited, and each choice you make on how to spend each moment, sends you on a specific set of outcomes. A nap or some exercise? Spending 2 hours scanning the internet or 2 hours interacting with your loved ones? “Zoning out” to the radio on your drive home, or listening to a recorded motivational or educational book? It is the small consistent decisions that will, over time, send you on a whole new life path.

You know that if you want progress, you have to take action. Also, if you take massive action in one area, the other areas of your life have to be put on hold for a while. But just as a crash starvation diet does help you lose a few pounds fast, we all know it’s temporary. It’s the consistent healthy eating combined with regular exercise that is the real answer to staying in good over all shape.

Take a look at how you are spending your days, hour by hour. If you want to move in a new and better direction in one area of your life, identify a habit that is not helping you achieve your goals, and decide today to replace it with a better habit. Do NOT decide to workout for 4 hours, or run 30 miles. Go for a short walk. You have to break the mental habit, and that will take 3-6 weeks of regularly doing something new.

Choose only one habit to replace. I say “replace” not break, or stop, because with nothing to replace it, you will be back doing your old habit in a short time. You will have to consciously tell yourself “no, I am not doing that old habit, I am now doing this” for a few weeks. Each time you sucessfully do the new action, try and think of all the reasons why the new habit is what you want to do, and all of the positive things that will happen because you are taking action.
At some point you will just do the new habit, because it feels “right.”  You will just pull on your running shorts, or not even think to open your video game or turn on the TV, because you like the new you better, the one that is improving, instead of ignoring. Once you have successfully replaced the old habit, you can concentrate on intensifying and improving it.

If most of your life is about being a mom and serving your family’s needs, or keeping up with a demanding job, (or both!) don’t beat yourself up about the areas of your life that are not 100% how you want them. Fitness takes time and money, family takes time and money, survival takes time and money. There are seasons of our lives that shift the focus of our priorities. But no matter your situation, I am sure you can find a few small bad habits that are working against your true desires and direction, and then choose to actively shift them to a better alternative. Knowing you are taking a small step in the right direction will leave you in a much better place than guilt or self flaggilation ever will.
For long time success of reforming your life in all areas, slow and steady really does win the race!

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10 WAYS TO CONTROL THE EMAIL MONSTER!

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

by Nate Truman

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Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week.
Charles Richards

We are all different, but the one great equalizer is time. From the richest to the poorest, we all get the same “infinite now” to use how we choose. In today’s internet world, however, there are more requests for our time than ever before. I have always had a “to-do” list handy for many years. On this list are the items I want to get done, and I can choose which ones to work on. Some are urgent, some important, but they are MY goals.

Slowly over the last few years, my list started becoming my inbox in my email account. Now, many of the emails DID have something to do with items that I had on my list, but many were forwarded chain mails, funny photos, internet hoax warnings that just asked for my brain power for “just a second or so!” I would open it, scan it, decide if it was worth any more time, delete it or if I thought it warranted a response, I would quickly hit “reply” and send a short answer.

I felt like I had accomplished something! I had dealt with an item, and crossed it off my list. There was only one problem: that email was never MY goal, it wasn’t on MY list, and I achieved nothing other than keeping a server busy, and wasting some of my life.

Add to that a MySpace or Facebook account, Twitter, my lotto winnings in Nigeria, and people with a lot of time on their hands forwarding on funny pictures of cats, and suddenly I was spending every free moment of my day trying to delete or cross off another email. I worked all day, never stopped typing or responding, and at the end of the day I had no real progress towards my goals. I did feel like I had put in a good days work, but when reviewing all that had been done; I had made little or no progress on my action items.

So here is my short list of ways to control the EMAIL MONSTER and get back to your goals:

1. Unsubscribe from everything! Just as you would not subscribe to 20 magazines that would pile up in your mail box, unless you have one or two info emails that you actually get info you use in your life or business on a regular basis, they are out.

2. If it says Fw.fw.fw.fw.fw.fwd at the top, delete it.

3. If it is a good friend that you want to stay in contact with, you can reply, but ask a specific question, to start a conversation.
“LOL” may be polite, but you are not closer friends because of that communication. Tell them you always will have time for them, just not junk mail.

4. Don’t open your email account when you sit down at work! This is the KEY, but I know it’s hard to do! Those emails are waiting for responses RIGHT NOW!
It’s OK. Take the first hour of your computer day, for your goals, your to-do items, your creative time. You may find you want two hours tomorrow!

5. Don’t fall into the trap of yo-yo emails! If you must deal with something, deal with it once, and if you don’t want to hear about it, don’t ask a question in your reply!
Otherwise, it will come right back to your “in box” tomorrow.

6. Choose ONE social networking site, and don’t allow yourself to spend key early time there, and limit it to 30 minutes. Even better, join, find your friends, and only respond to set up a time when you will actually see each other. Best? Just don’t.

7. Print out a large print version of YOUR to-do goals and tape them to the side of the computer. Work off of that list.

8. DELETED! As Strong Bad the cartoon would say, delete any emails you can after dealing with them. For the emails with info you may need later, put them in a folder and name it “info.” Do this sparingly, otherwise when you go looking for it, you have to spend too much time digging for it.

9. Don’t be part of the problem! If you are the one forwarding cute animal photos, or chain mails, that means you have nothing to say to the other person other than the real life “Hey.” If you just want to reach out and touch someone, take the time to write a short personal email. We have all seen the cute cats in the fishbowl.

10. Stay on target, by not opening more windows. If the amount of time wasted clicking from one link to another were added up, I think we would all be astounded by the amount of lost time and potential. Don’t follow the “shinny foil ball” of the pretty advertisement or tagline. Even one about “10 WAYS TO CONTROL THE EMAIL MONSTER!”
(Well, maybe that one!)

You have the same amount of time each day as the greatest people currently on Earth have, but I know they are creating, and doing. Remember, no one will say at your funeral, “his inbox in his email account was nearly empty!” Start today to put into action these few steps, and you can tame the EMAIL MONSTER. Who knows, you may be able to start skipping days, or weeks without checking! If you just freaked out a bit at that thought, you really need to start doing a few of these!

Now, email this to twenty friends in the next five minutes, and great things will happen to you! If you don’t your computer will crash. Just kidding. No really, do it.


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